As I grew up my parents always said to me ‘you’re always the go to person for your friends aren’t you’? Back in the day when we only had a house phone, (and even that was wired to the wall in our hallway) they would unintentionally hear my conversations and more often than not I could be found giving advice and being ‘much older than my years’. I always assumed that this was because of my own family dynamics. My parents had me at what I considered to be old back then (it really isn’t these days, they were 35 & 42) and I had 2 sisters that were 9 & 12 years older than me, so I largely grew up around older people. 

 

I have never really followed trends, I always liked clothes that were in fashion last season, I never bothered about magazines much, listened to a variety of genres of music and just didn’t fit the social box. When I hit late teens I had the stark realisation that what others enjoyed, I actually despised. While they all started venturing out into nightlife, pubs, clubs etc, I found the immense mix of energies, usually alcohol fuelled, one of the most stressful experiences. Over time I became more and more aware of this, I would sometimes try it and go along with them, but maybe be designated driver, but I would ALWAYS be clock watching to leave at the earliest opportunity. That many different people, in that close proximity, in a hot environment, would tip me over the edge. I seemed to lack the capability to just switch off, relax and enjoy myself. Except I knew I could do that, just not in those surroundings.

 

This then fed onto adulthood. Doing a weekly shop for example. I have been known to abandon a full trolley in a supermarket because something has overwhelmingly affected me, and I have just ‘known’ that I need to leave that shop. Whether that be picking up on everyone else’s energies, feeling Spirit, or just my own anxieties, there is literally no pattern as to when or why it happens. It doesn’t happen in every situation all the time, but I have learnt to make conscious choices to help ease this for me, such as going at quieter times to avoid the crowds. I have also mastered the art of saying ‘no’! If something isn’t in alignment for me, is not enjoyable, I now have the strength to say ‘no thank you, it’s not really my bag’. For YEARS I have struggled with this. What sane person turns down a night out?? Yes I get some odd looks at times, as let’s face it how many people don’t enjoy going to the pub?? Well… this girl for one!